Guidance For Older Children

At Christmas time I read this amazing book called 'Ten Conversations You Must Have With Your Son' By Tim Hawkes. Yes it is more about boys and more about young teenagers but it was so relevent to these times. It really showed the importance of communication, spending quality time with our children and listening to their individual needs yet still guiding them to be good adults who can live independently, be happy, hold a good job and choose healthy relationships. That is a parents dream.

A really special client shared a list of tips she was asked to write for her adolescent daughter recently.

I loved these ideas and thought they would be nice to share:

AS YOU ARE GROWING UP:

Don't settle for ordinary, when extrordinary is just the next best step away
Dream big
Dreaming big dreams is one thing but waking up, getting out of bed and doing the hard work to make your dreams a reality is the real thing
Bad haircuts grow out eventually
Surround yourself with good people
Don't text and drive. Don't do your makeup and drive either
It's one thing to have a beautiful/ handsome face but it's a better thing to have a beautiful soul
Never be to busy to write thank you notes/cards/messages to people. People love appreciation
A smile to someone is a gift
Think before you speak - Think more before you post something on social media
It is better to write an email and never send it than send an email you cannot take back
Make good choices so you can look yourself in the mirror and be proud
Embrace the truth.
Do not text at restaurants or if someone is talking to you. Be present and engaged so people know they matter to you
Don't take yourself too seriously
Measure twice, cut once
Love people - love all people with no judgement
Never underestimate the power of a firm handshake and good eye contact
It is never too late to stop procrastinating
Do not make things harder than you need to. If you have a hard decision - Once you make it - make it and move forward
If someone does not smile - give them one of yours
Never say "I'll try" as this gives you permission to fail. "Just do it" with confidence
If you do not feel confident - stand tall and breathe and go for it
Excuses stink
You do not need makeup and assessories to be beautiful
Social media is not the place for interpersonal conflicts. Meet in person - remember eye contact
Your outer world reflects your innerworld. Space clear your room and your home if it feels a mess or cluttered
Winners do not whine. Whinners do not win
Choose your thoughts wisely
Exercise outside and get fresh air daily
Connect with nature daily
If you fail to plan, you plan to fail
You will make mistakes and survive failure and be ok. Apologise. Forgive yourself. Learn from it. Ask for help. Move forward
Pick your battles - some things are worth fighting for and some are not
Don't be afraid to change direction
You can choose to do something, you can choose not to do something or you can choose to wait and assess later. If you are unsure wait
If you are not feeling safe follow your instincts, follow your gut feelings and get out of this situation ASAP.
Spend time with friends where you "feel loved by them not judged"
Only spend what you have. Not all of it either
Start saving for your house early in life
Be very very sensible with credit cards
You can always come home
Call home if in trouble - we are only a phone call away
Every half an hour slept before midnight is worth two hours after midnight
Ice cream and chocolate does not fix problems
Know when to walk away from toxic relationships or dramatic situations
You cannot fix everything and everyone
Do something amazing everyday
Everyday be grateful for something good that has happened
You never get a second chance to make a 1st impression
Toilets do not self clean
Don't wait for a special occasion to use a good dinner set, good dress or to say something nice
Do not sleep with a mobile phone in your bedroom
Do things in life that make you happy
Find teachers that are inspirational
Eat nourishing food and keep treats for treats
It is ok to get angry or feel sad at times
If feelings of anger and sadness are out of reality ask for help. You are never alone
You are an individual and should never feel controlled by others. You have choices
Know when to define your boundaries and have resilience when feeling hurt
Live life, love life and live life with passion.